Screenshots From my 8-Month-Old-Son’s iPhone Calendar

Got my eight-month-old son an iPhone because it seemed like he’d enjoy it.  And people were all like “Blahbedy blah blah blah, your eight-month-old doesn’t need his own iPhone” and I was like “Thanks, Judgy McJudgerson, but I think I can second guess my OWN terrible decisions without your input.”

Anyway, I totally hacked into his phone and here’s what he’s been up to.

crying-and-naps-theuglyvolvo

bah-bah-bah-theuglyvolvo

crumpled-paper-towel-theuglyvolvo

soiled-diaper-the-ugly-volvo

resist-nap-the-ugly-volvo

pterodactyl-noises-theuglyvolvo

having-kids-terrible-idea-the-ugly-volvo

mothers-day-final-theuglyvolvo

The End

If you’re looking for a mother’s day gift that isn’t a “#1 Mom” mug that you bought at Walgreens, my book (Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming) is not only 25% off on the Chronicle Website, we’re donating a percentage of every purchase to Ronald McDonald House Charities to help out parents of children who are hospitalized.  Buy it HERE.

Also, I obviously obviously did not actually buy my 8-month-old an iPhone.  

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Or, if you wanted to buy the book but HATE MONEY GOING TO CHARITIES you can also just buy it through Amazon, Barnes and Noble or Indiebound.  If you want to follow The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or Twitter, you can do that also.

And Happy Mother’s Day.

6 CommentsComment

  1. OMG. You have hit the humor jackpot with this one. Sent it to every Mom I know this afternoon. It’s all SO. PERFECT. Pterodactyl noises . . . . you make me shake with laughter and make me feel a sisterhood b/c it’s so freaking torturous sometimes!!!

  2. I came here trying to figure out what gibberish was in the calendar, also, why on Earth would someone give an 8 month old an iPhone and I was pleasantly surprised. Then thoroughly entertained!
    Great job, I’d love to read your book one day.
    Cheers!

  3. Avatar

    Natalie

    Laugh out loud hilarious. I needed a laugh like this tonight. Thank you!!

  4. Avatar

    Florence Fantauzzi

    My daughter is a friend of Pam’s. I am my daughter’s mother. I also am a friend. Started reading your blog from beginning not knowing you were Pam’s sister! You are so funny and I am a Grandmother. I’m going to buy your book for laughs! Trying to share to facebook. Want others to read it. Nutty group. Good luck.

    • Avatar

      Raquel D'Apice

      Yes, I have totally been Pam’s sister since the early 80’s. Which friend is your daughter? Alison? Thanks for reading for this long and hopefully enjoy the book! 😀

  5. This was fabulous! I literally called my son’s week of trying to make noises only dogs could hear (only he didn’t quite make it, so we could hear them just fine) as “pterodactyl screaming.” I frequently reminded myself that I had no idea what a pterodactyl actually sounded like, but I figure if there was a sound that they made, it would sound exactly like that. Thanks for the validation. And the laughs!

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