The Looney Tunes Character That Is Most Like Having a Toddler

Photo Credit: Michael Li
Photo Credit: Michael Li

Most Looney Tunes characters are a lot like young children.  Raising a child is like living in a particularly harebrained animated short in which things are constantly falling off high ledges, busting through walls or exploding. I would be completely unsurprised to learn that Chuck Jones and Mel Blank based the cartoons on their true life experiences managing a day care center.

For reference:

1. The Tasmanian Devil tears through rooms recklessly, inadvertantly destroying everything in his path.  (Sigh audibly if anything sounds familiar)

2.  Daffy Duck seems to have a major problem with sharing (and possibly honesty).

3.  Tweety Bird is sweet and innocent but not quite as innocent as he looks and Sylvester the Cat is always going after the thing he is not supposed to touch.


Photo Credit: Giuseppe Chisea
Photo Credit: Giuseppe Chisea

Every character seems similar to having a young, mischevious child.  Given that he is not yet two and I am in my thirties, I constantly wonder how my roadrunner of a toddler can outwit my strategic attempts to catch him (in order to put on his pants, not blow him up with Acme-brand TNT).  And yet if I had to pick the one character I think of most often when dealing with my son it would be Michigan J. Frog.


Photo Credit: John Macdonald
Photo Credit: John Macdonald

For those of you not familiar with this cartoon, here’s a quick synopisis.

A doofy-looking moustachioed guy finds a frog in a metal box.  The frog ribbits.  Then out of literally nowhere the frog pulls out a cane and a top hat and starts singing vaudeville-era songs in a theatrical baritone voice while dancing.  “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaal!”  He finishes a song and immediately reverts to normal frog behavior.  (Ribbit.)  The doofy-looking moustachioed guy is floored!  What an amazing thing he has found!  He then tries to show other people all the amazing things the frog can do (Look at this amazing singing and dancing frog!) only to find that the frog will not perform vaudeville in front of any other people.  When they are alone the frog continues to amaze him with jazzy song-and-dance numbers but falls completely silent the moment another person enters the room.


Scenario 1: The Nana Phone Call

Baby:  Nana!  Nana!  Nana!  Phone!  Nana!  Phone!

Me: (into phone)  He just won’t stop saying your name!  He just keeps going, “Nana!  Nana!  Nana!”  Here– hold on a second.  (To baby)  It’s Nana, buddy!  Do you have something you want to say to Nana?

Baby:  *silence*

Nana:  Is he there?  Hello?

Me:  Buddy, it’s NANA.

Baby:  *silence*

Me:  (taking phone back)  Sorry, I swear he would not stop doing it a minute ago.

*Quietly hangs up phone*

Baby:  Nana!


Scenario 2: The High Five Request

Baby:  Hi!  Hi, hi, hi, hi, hello!  HELLO!  High five!  Blow kiss.  Hug!  (laughs) Hug, please!

(a friend of mine arrives)

Me:  It’s crazy– he can’t stop saying hello lately.  He’s constantly giving high fives and asking for hugs.

Friend:  That’s so sweet!

Me:  I know.  It’s really adorable.

Friend:  Hi buddy!  Can I get a high five?

Baby:  *stares coldly into nothingness*


Scenario 3: “He’s Talking SO Much!”

Other friend:  So is he talking much?

Me: Yes, a ton.  He repeats everything I say!  He’ll usually repeat the last word of all my sentences.  I feel like he’s babbling nonstop.  It’s so sweet and adorable.

Other friend:  (to baby)  Is this true?  Your mom’s telling me you’re talking all the time now?

Baby:  *Says nothing*

Me:  Are you going to show us how well you talk?  Are you going to repeat the last word of my…sentence?

Baby:  *Says nothing*

Other friend: (encouragingly, to baby) Is that what you’re doing?  Are you repeating everything you hear?  I heard that someone is quite the talker lately!

Baby:  *Says literally nothing for the following three hours*


Scenario 4: Alphabet

Baby: (singing) A B C D E F G.  H I J K LMNO Peeee.

Me:  Mom, he’s doing it, c’mere!

Baby:  Q R Esss, Tee You Veee.  Dable-You Ax, Why and Zee.

Me:  Mom, he knows the whole alphabet!  He just sang the whole thing!

*My mother comes running into room*

My Mother:  Are you saying the alphabet, handsome?

Baby:  *Smiles silently*

Me:  Do it again, buddy.  A B C D…

Baby:  *says nothing*

My Mother:  Can you sing ABCD for Abuela?

Me:  Just like you were doing.  A B C D…

My Mother:  E F Geeee…

Me:  H I J K…

*My mother and I enthusiastically sing the entire alphabet four times.  Baby watches us politely before leaving the room*


Scenario 5: I Love You

Baby:  Mama kiss.  (Kisses my leg)  Good morning.

Me:  Good morning!  I love you!

Baby:  I laave you.

Me:  (Screaming to next room) JON, GET IN HERE, THE BABY SAID I LOVE YOU!

*Jonathan runs into the room*

Me:  He just did it!  (to baby) Can you do it again?  Say I love you.  I loooove you.

Jon: (to baby)  I love you!

Me: (to baby) I love you!  Come on, do it again!  I love you!

Jon: (to baby) Say it, buddy!  I loooove you!

*Baby suddenly begins crying.  Spends next 11 minutes sobbing while passing enormous bowel movement.*


Scenario 6: Larry

Baby:  Larry has big moustache.  Larry, moustache!

Me:  You’re right, Larry does have a big moustache!

Baby:  Larry, big!  Big moustache!  Larry big moustache!

(Later that evening, at Larry’s house)

Me: Hey bud, what does Larry have?

Baby: *silence*

Me: Oh my god, I swear he would not stop talking about Larry’s moustache.  I listened to like three hours of Larry having a big moustache.  Buddy, what does Larry have?  What does Larry have on his face?

Baby:  *says nothing*

Me:  Oh come on, you would not stop with this.  Does Larry have…a moustache?

Baby: *silence*

Me:  Does he have a…big moustache?

Baby: *silence*

Me: Who here in this room has a big moustache?  Who has a moustache??

*Baby waits for several seconds, as if thinking it over.*

Baby:  Mama.  Mama moustache.

Me:  *Begrudingly places hand over upper lip.  Scowls.*


Scenario 7: Totally Nice Lady Across from us on the Train

*Friendly-looking older woman waves to baby from across the subway car*

Woman:  He looks so happy!  What a sweet, happy baby.

Me:  Yeah, it’s wonderful.  He’s really happy most of the time.  (to baby)  Can you say hi to the lady?

Baby:  No.  No no no NO NO NO NO (frantically reaching for train doors as if trying to escape a great evil)  NO NO NO!  OUT!  OUT!  OUUUUUUUT!! OUUUUUUT!! OUUUUUUUT!!

Woman:  *looks at me pleadingly*

Baby:  *Cries hysterically, as if in mortal danger* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!  GET OUT! GET OUT!  OUUUUUUUUUT!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Me:  I’m so sorry!  He’s usually so friendly!  I don’t know what he’s–


Woman:  *Appears to suffer complete emotional collapse*


The End

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If you enjoyed the post, please like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.  Or sign up to follow the blog at the bottom of the page.  (I don’t post more than once a week).  Also, if you’re that lady on the subway I am seriously so sorry about that, I swear most of the time he is such a happy kid.

Also, even though I went with Michigan J. Frog as the character most like having a toddler, given what my living room looks like, the Tasmanian Devil was a pretty serious runner up.

15 CommentsComment

  1. So funny!

  2. Yes. Little smarmy poops. The only time its worse is when they do start to do stuff when its not the right time. I was super stoked when our young toddler learned to take off and put on her own clothes at 13 months…but then you turn your back in a store for 15 seconds and her pants are off, new tights out of the package and she is cramming them onto her feet ripping them in the process howling in protest when you take them away while people stare at you with lots of feelings about your parenting. OR when they take off their underwear in the car and you can’t leave them at playland in IKEA and have to drag them around, they are totally cooperative. YOU interwebs person, are funny and right.

  3. OMG, this is so TRUE!! Darn kids!
    My husband works out of state, so I try to video cute stuff…she sees the phone and she stops talking. *sigh*

  4. Our little girl does this, but also does the opposite, where she’ll be howling away, refusing food, fighting nappy changes, getting dressed, getting undressed, going to bed or anything remotely productive. As soon as someone else shows up and we greet them looking frazzled and strung out and a mumbled ‘she’s been a bit of a handful today’, she’s sitting as lovely as can be in front of an empty plate saying: “Mo-mo-more, gease.” (With a little Makaton please just to be more adorable) or lying asleep with a cherubic smile on her little face.

    That’s sort of more the Tweety Bird I guess.

  5. Every single time I brag to my mom about something, this exact thing happens. Of course, the opposite also happens. I get all excited about him doing something, run in and tell my husband (who is a stay-at-home dad, and so sees him more often) and he says, “Yeah, he’s been doing that for a week.” Thanks for breaking my enthusiasm, sweetheart.

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