I am a writer and stand up comic raising a child in Jersey City. I live in a two bedroom apartment that I foolishly thought would be big enough for three people and a dog and all of the stuff that comes along with having a baby. Clearly I am an idiot.
If you need or would like to reach me, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I read every single comment people take the time to post, both on the blog and on my Facebook page. I don’t respond to all of them because there are not enough hours in the day but please know that I read them and appreciate comments so much. Knowing that a post was enjoyed is the fastest way to totally make my day.
I have an occasionally dark sense of humor. Nothing I write is ever intended to offend. Most of what I write is nonsense.
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PLEASE DO NOT FEED TWIZZLERS TO THE BUTTERFLIES
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I’m not sure what else is relevant, so here is a version of the “About Me” I used for a tutoring service I used to work for. And yes, I know it should be “a tutoring service for which I used to work.” Sometimes I will end sentences in prepositions. I know it is wrong. I am sorry. But sometimes it sounds better. Sometimes I will also use “their” when I know I am supposed to use “his/her.” Please know that every time I do it I feel terrible.
Here is some information About Me!
I watch a lot of documentaries on Instant Netflix. I love “‘The World According to Garp” and everything by Shel Silverstein and I read The New Yorker but mainly I read it for the cartoons. I have a phobia of jewelry. I have a horrible sweet tooth and could easily eat nine boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in one sitting. Sometimes I daydream about living in other countries and then immediately go online to look up the size of the spiders in those countries.
I wear almost the exact same outfit every day. I am married to someone who speaks three languages and there are days when I feel like I barely speak English. I love stand-up comedy and Far Side cartoons and books about science. When I like songs I will obsessively listen to them on repeat for hours or days until everyone nearby wants to throw me and my CD player out a window.
I have a very nice mother and an eccentric father. I have two younger sisters and a dog named Tig and a husband who obsessively follows international weather patterns the way other men follow sports. I have a wonderful, wonderful son who makes me smile a lot of the time. My first car was an old, ugly Volvo that I loved and that’s why the blog is called The Ugly Volvo. I wish there were a more interesting story behind it but there isn’t.
If you enjoy my posts, “like” The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on here (www.theuglyvolvo.com) or follow me at @theuglyvolvo on Twitter. If there’s a post you like, please share it with friends as I love writing but am notoriously bad at promoting things. I try to post at least once a week.