A Brief Conversation in Which I Sheepishly Ask For Help

sick drawing (3)

ME:  I need you to watch the kid today.  Possibly all day.

HIM:  You hate when I watch him.

ME:  I know, but I feel awful.  I have a fever.  I’m tired and I’m in a lot of pain.  I really need you to do it today.

HIM:  Literally every time I spend a day with the kid you complain about it.

ME: I know, I just–

HIM: Or you go on and on about how he’s whinier after spending the day with me.

ME: I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t rag on you.  I really appreciate those days when you watch him in a pinch.

HIM: I’m obviously happy to watch him.  And he loves spending time with me.

ME: I know he does.

HIM: And it’s not like I’m going to turn him into a horrible human being.

ME: *sigh* I know you’re not.  I just feel weird if you’re watching him for too long.

HIM: Don’t feel weird.  He’ll be fine.  I watched you all the time when you were a kid and you turned out fine.

ME: I know.  I’m sorry.

HIM: I’ve totally got him, go lie down and rest.

ME: Thanks.  Sorry I’m always so conflicted about this.

HIM:  It’s fine.  Parenting is a hard job.

ME:  It is.  I’m sorry I badmouth you sometimes.  Thanks for helping me out when I really need it.

HIM:  Don’t sweat it.  It’s my pleasure.


-conversation I just had with my television set

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Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming

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Thanks again for reading.  Your hair looks fantastic today.


15 CommentsComment

  1. I liked this a lot. Very clever!

  2. Avatar

    Caroline Hancock

    Nice post. Maybe think of the TV as a “she,” for that warmer maternal touch.

  3. Yes, exactly, brilliant!

  4. I do hope you feel better soon! I’ve totally had that conversation… more than I’ll openly admit.

  5. Hilarious. I’m not a parent but I so much enjoy your humorous posts!

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